Doolin' Dalton

So, you want to know about the baddest, meanest, gunslingin' ape this flea-bitten world's ever produced do ya? Well, ok then. Pull up a stool, put a whisky in my glass and listen up. This aint no goddam fairy tale. His name was Bill “Doolin” Dalton, and he was as fine a gunslinger as you or anyone else in this system will ever have seen. Heck, he might even have been the best there ever was. See. I was pretty good at drawing irons in my youth, but Bill, hell, he could shoot the spit of a gnats lips from 50 paces. Some say he was put on this here planet by a higher power, to avenge some wrong, or some such. But thats just horse piss. Like i said, this aint no fairy tale.

He was born on Terra, jus' like you an' me, but unlike you an' me this boy was born into the most terrible poverty and want you can imagine. Now I dont know exactly when or where on Terra he was born, but legend has it, he saw his whole family slaughtered by those land grabbing bastards the NAU. Whats that you say? You've never heard of the NAU? Where in hell are you from boy? Titan?? Oh, you are from Titan, my apologies. In that case let me take a detour from the tale I'm tellin' an' educate you. The NAU, or the North American Union, are the ones runnin' the show. All those places you might have heard about in history books, places like America an' Canada an' Mexico an' a few of those smaller island states, well they became the NAU. If you pay taxes, it goes to the NAU. If you want to setup a ranch or a Homestead, you gotta get permission from the NAU. Hell, if you want to fart on a Sunday, the NAU are going to have a say in that too. Thing is when they wanted something bad enough, even if it was rightly someone else's, they had this dirty habit of just takin' it. And sadly for Bill's family, they were in the way. So., because of the cockroaches at the NAU, Bill had a life no boy should ever have. Scavenging and begging and worse, just to survive.

Hell, the boy brought hisself up. And all them years he was stealin' and beggin' and worse, he never forgot the sons of bitches who put him where he was. He never forgot and by-god, he never forgave. Well, by his mid twenties he was already one of the most notorious outlaws operating in the Western Hemisphere. Wanted in every sector, he constantly had the NAU on his ass. Hunting him down like a god dammed dog. They had agents out in every sector looking for Bill, for all the good it did them, 'cause you know what? They never got him! Haha, that boy was always two steps ahead. Not oy could Bill shoot, but he was smart. “The NAU’s just the bigg’st gang ’n the ‘sphere. They do what they want, they take what they want, ’n they don’t give a dirty damn ‘bout nuthin but power and control. Their people ain’t nuthin to ‘em but slaves and serfs to be owned ‘n ‘sploited. Their stinkin yella-belly agents runnin ‘round all official like, actin like they got some special right the rest’of us don’t got. They make me sick. Callin me a criminal and a killer! HA! Well if that ain’t the quacta callin the stifling slimy! I does right by my gang and we don’t hurt nobody who don’t have it comin to ‘em! They call me an Outlaw. Damn right I’m an Outlaw! I don’t recognize no NAU law and don’t want no part’a their dirty rotten slave system.” - Bill “Doolin” Dalton, 2092